is it only me?

Do you know what is really annoying? What I do not understand at all?

Why girls feel the need to talk on their cell phone while they are in a public bathroom. HONESTLY.

Public bathrooms are bad enough to begin with. Especially when you are not the only one in the bathroom. To me, it's awkward to have a communal place do to something that most people consider pretty personal. But to talk on your phone while either in a public bathroom or even worse, going to the bathroom, is just the weirdest and most annoying thing I can think of. And you know what? It's always the girls that wears supertight leggings, uggs, and those jackets with the fake fur on the hood, with too much makeup and a super obvious fake tan. The type of girl who can't be off her phone for more than a minute without having a panic attack.

So, I purposely try to run the water longer, or make a lot of noise when I get papertowels, or flush the toilet two or three extra times...because whenever someone makes noise and they can't hear the person on the other end of the line, they're all "What?? I can't hear you!" Well MAYBE if you didn't talk on your phone while you are in the bathroom you wouldnt have that problem!

Personally, I can't even stand to pee when someone is close enough to hear and I even turn the sink on half the time when I'm at John's. Half the time I can't pee unless water is running, I'm that weirded out by it. So you can understand my frustration when these strangers are having in-depth conversations about who hooked up with who last night or who wore the wrong color shoes with those pants WHILE I'M TRYING TO PEE.

Reason # 34875 why I HATE GIRLS.

lucky

Last night, not even an hour after I wrote about how the gym thing didn't work out, guess what happened?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

That's right, John was on my porch holding two gym passes, one for my sister and one for me. He went to the gym and convinced the owner to not only let us join without paying the $100 down payment, but for a cheaper price than the original advertisement. My sister and I are now on a plan for $15.90 a month - for both of us.  Not only that, but we got gold passes, which means half off drinks and stuff, and so many tanning sessions. What really made me melt, was that he said he did it because he doesn't want me to worry about calories and starving myself (yeah, I was heading down that road for a little bit, but all is well now). He said that if he couldn't get the gym to give us the deal, he still would have paid all that extra money, just so I could work out and not worry about what I eat so much. That I love that boy to pieces, I really do. I am so lucky to have someone like him in my life.

The three of us went tonight and it was SO good to finally work out again.

Also, today is Veteran's Day, and if you haven't done it yet, thank the veteran's you know. (hint, hint: - John is a veteran!) So thank you babe, for giving up two and a half years of your life to serve this country, plus countless drill weekends, trainings, and everything else you've done. I love you!

ARGH.

Last week, I got a flier in the mail from the gym I used to go to, saying that they were offering memberships for $10 a month. I told my sister, because we've been wanting to join a gym again - only we are broke and can't afford it. This got us really excited, because anyone can afford $10 a month.

Tonight we drove over to sign up and found out that in order to get that deal, we have to put down $100 before we can actually sign up. She obviously does not have that money just lying around...and I barely have that much money left over each month after I pay all my bills. Now that Christmas is so soon, and our vacation is literally right after Christmas, I have no extra money.

So we are mad. Really mad. I'm probably going to have to wait until February or March to sign up, cause I just wont have that extra money until then.
Argh. =(

how long do we have to wait

I hate these days. I feel so blah all day, come home, and do nothing.

Every night this week I've gone to bed telling myself that tomorrow will be better, that I'll get more accomplished and feel good about the day. And everyday I have barely had the energy to get out of bed, let alone make myself feel useful during the day.

I feel so alone in this house. It's like coming home to an empty house. My mom only asks me about my day to see if there's anyone she can gossip about in town, and when I try to tell her how my day really was, she does that half-listening thing and says "ok" every few minutes because she thinks it will make her seem interested. My sister is so self-absorbed and trying to talk to her is pointless because she get gets irritated...unless, of course, she wants something, and then it's a totally different story.

The house is disgusting, there is so much clutter everywhere. My parents have stacks of thier clothes sitting on our family room floor waiting to be ironed, and they leave their dishes in the sink for days. My parent's mail accumulates on the kitchen table for weeks at a time until there is no more room for mail. My sister is so self-absorbed that she doesn't notice any of this, let alone the messes she makes and leaves behind. The upstairs bathroom is disgusting and everyone leaves wet towels just laying on the floor. I seriously wish I didn't have to live here. I try to keep my areas clean and I do, but it makes no difference when the rest of the house is a mess. I clean up after myself but you would never know it.

I know I sound selfish and unappreciative. My parents let me live here rent-free, and thank god, because I can barely afford to get by right now while I'm in school. It is just SO frustrating, coming home to this everyday. I can't even go to sleep when I want to because my mom is so loud and runs around upstairs, slamming doors and talking on the phone. My house is small, and cramped, and old, and is never quiet. I never get to bed before midnight even when I try.

Some days I just want someone to talk to, about anything. Talking to John isn't easy because we're apart during the week and I really don't feel like talking online is really talking.

I feel like I'm stuck in this rut of school and work, and I'm not actually getting anywhere. I'll graduate, but I still wont be able to get a job until I finish grad school. I feel like my life is going to be static until then...I wont get anywhere financially, I wont be able to start a career...it's like I'm just stuck indefinitely. Is it even worth it?

I just really hate feeling so helpless.

blahh

I am having a really off week and I can't figure out why.

Things are bothering me that don't normally bother me. I have zero motivation.

I want to fast forward my life to when I don't have to live here anymore.

VOTE

I get really angry when people don't vote. Or don't take a stand on issues.

This is the most historic election ever, and in the midst of the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression...and STILL, people are apathetic.

I wont' tell you who to vote for, since I don't particularly like either one. Just vote!

november 2

I do not like Sunday nights.

Army Wives season finale was tonight. That show, as much as I love it, makes me so happy that John is out for good on February 23rd. And, the season finale didn't leave much of a cliffhanger...not like last year, anyway. I hope the third season starts sooner than it usually does...waiting until June will be way too painful ;)

Halloween was disappointing this year, I didn't see any good costumes. Kids don't even want to stay in theirs anymore...when I was ten I never wanted to take mine off! Where has the Halloween spirit gone??

I hope everyone remembers to vote on Tuesday. And anyone who hasn't seen this week's SNL with John McCain should definitely go YouTube it. Right now.

My birthday is in twenty five days, almost twenty four. =)