Only kindness matters

There was a story in the news this week about a man who committed suicide and published a seven page suicide note on the Internet explaining why he took his own life. He was from my area, and actually went to school with John. It has made national headlines because he was a grad student at Princeton, but it has shaken up quite a few people locally who knew him, his family, or bits and pieces of information surrounding the story.

I read the article, the suicide note and the comments that were posted beneath the article. It's been on my mind all day - I've never read a suicide note before, nor do I personally know anyone who has taken their own life. If you take a few minutes to read the article and/or his note, you'll see that he was raped as a young child, but never received help for what he went through. His parents are Christian Fundamentalists that kicked him out of their home when he was 19 years old because he did not follow their beliefs. [Side note: His parents actually belong to the same church that a family very close to me belongs to. I do not agree with the church, and I have had my own opinions that this church is very much like an occult ever since meeting This Family, and this story 150% confirms those opinions]. The suicide note and some of the comments under the article imply that the church is partially responsible for the suicide - particularly the pastor of the church and the children's minister (who is also the principal of the school that this man attended as a young child). I am not saying that either of these men are responsible for the child molestation that led to this suicide, but I do not think it is out of the realm of possibility. I also think that the brainwashing that goes on in this church is responsible for the parent's disowning their son because his beliefs did not agree with theirs.

I thought that a church was supposed to be a safe haven, a place you can go to for love and forgiveness. I do not believe church should be places where you are judged, condemned, and made to feel worthless. I believe that "Christians" can be some of the most hateful and judgmental people on this earth. It makes me so sad that this man was exposed to such a cult-like group and was not able to lean on his family or his church for support during his difficult times. It makes me so angry that this church is trying to put this in the past so quickly. This Family I know attended church this past Wednesday night, and the pastor brought up this suicide towards the end of the service. He explained to his congregation that this event has brought the church a bad image and it would be best to put it in the past. If that does not scream "guilty" then I don't know what does. What does it teach other children and young adults that belong to this church? Does it teach them that the church will be there to support them in their time of need, or does it teach them that the church will only be there if it does not create a poor image of the church? I asked the mom in This Family how she would feel if this were her son, and she said it would make her want to leave the church. Okay. But how is this any different? It may not be her son that committed suicide this time, but what about next time? Is it really safe to continue to be a member of this church and expose her children to this kind of hatred and judgment? Is it right to expose them to an institution that tells that life is black and white with no room for gray? I believe we should treat other people with kindness, compassion, and understanding. I believe parents need to be responsible and take care of their children. In this case, the parents of this man did not do what they should have after their son was raped as a young child, all because of this church.

It's hard for me to articulate everything I want to say about this issue. Knowing This Family attends the same church is difficult because I've long suspected something was not right with this church. Reading the suicide note has confirmed my beliefs and it makes me sad and scared at the same time that This Family will most likely continue to go to this church and fall into the brainwashed trap that is being laid out for them. I know everyone has freedom of religion, but at what point do we say "this has gone too far?"