wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face, always

There are days when I long for the week I move out of here. It is getting closer - November will be here before I know it (because we all know summer goes by faster than any other season). Obviously, I want freedom and independence and to support myself, and I want to share my life with John. Those are the most important and influential factors in why we are buying a condo, but I also just crave my own space. I come home from work and have nowhere to go. My sister holes herself up in our room all night, my mom takes over the family room, which leaves me stuck at my desk. (I probably should be stuck at my desk, considering the mammoth amount of homework I have to get done by May 8th). I want my own kitchen where I can cook us dinner everynight, and my own washer and dryer so I can wash clothes the way I like them washed. I want our own bedroom that is not cluttered with our stuff that has nowhere else to be put away. There are too many things that have to be done before all of that can happen, things that are entirely too stressful for my own good. Being pre-qualified is fabulous, but it doesn't erase the fact that we have to find a condo we want to buy and that we can afford when we want to have this all happen. Nor does it erase the fact that this will all be happening in the weeks before I graduate, aka right around the time of finals. But, it does include fun things like shopping for furniture (albeit at Walmart or Target, but still!) and paint and curtains and other things that will make it our home.

I found all of my old Lifehouse B-Sides on my computer today, which has been an excellent distraction from the 5-page trascript I have due on Thursday. Which clearly means spring break is over, and the sucky part of the semester begins (aka the three 12-page papers I have due in a month).

John and I watched the two younger nephews on Saturday. I couldn't help taking pictures, they are so adorable.

Ryan on his "big boy" bike.

Showing off his new front teeth!

a day off

Today I went to Massachusetts to visit my cousin and her new baby. I haven't been able to catch up with my cousin in such a long time, it felt like we had ten years of each other's lives to catch up on. It was so nice to get away from everything that normally keeps me busy all day long and just relax. I haven't had a 'girls day' in forever. Not to mention that I've been dying to meet the baby since she was born. She is too cute and a really good baby.

When I was driving home, the GPS took me through mostly backroads for the first half of the drive which was kind of nice because it was gorgeous out today. I really hope it warms up soon - it was only 32 degrees today but it looked like it should have been 60.

John and I went to a mortgage lender and got approved for the amount we wanted...so now all we have to do is meet with other lenders to compare rates and other fun financial stuff, and look at as many condos as we can so we can be ready to buy when November rolls around. His two-year work history date is like November 8th (being self-employed, he has to show two years history of work) and the tax credit expires on December 1st, so we have about three weeks to decide on a condo, put in an offer, and close on it. Stressful!

And this is Milo when he was four weeks old...turning one year old in just a couple weeks! Time flies.

giving in

Um, apparently I suck at posting lately.

My life has been crazy.  I have had so much work to do for school that I have barely had time to shave my legs more than once a week. No lie.  Not to mention John and I have started the crazy-stressful process of buying a condo...which obviously requires numerous hours spent browsing available units in central Connecticut. (What do you mean I have a history paper to write? There are condos to look at!) I have not straightened my hair in two weeks, I cannot get up without hitting the snooze button less than five times, and I require multiple cups of caffiene-infused tea to get through each day. My stress level has gone so high that I've had my period for close to two and a half weeks and I have broken out all along my chin...oh, and it's been taking me at least an hour to fall asleep. So, this is me asking whoever controls my destiny to please (pretty please!) cut me a break and add a few extra hours into each day until the semester ends. Okay? Thanks.

see what life's gonna hold down the road

This picture was taken on my first dat of Kindergarten. I referenced that dress, the lunchbox (1990's, much??) and the giant yellow bus tag on my collar in my application for graduate school. I still remember standing there by the front door while my mom took my picture...how is it possible that so many years could go by so quickly?

John and I decided that we are going to get an apartment at the end of the year. Originally, he'd wanted to buy a house, but with this horrid economy, we think it would be smarter to not take on a mortgage until things pick up a little bit. Plus, we could rent for a couple years and save more money for a down payment. So now, instead of concentrating on the midterm I have at 5pm today, I have been looking at apartments for rent online. We found one we really like in the same complex where his parents live now. It has one bedroom, a den, a living room, kitchen, pantry and bathroom. I think we need at least that much space because between the two of us, we have three cats. My mother tried telling me I couldn't take Lucy and Ricky with me, which I shot down very quickly. They are clearly my cats, they dont even like anyone else in this house. Anyway...now I am trying to think of everything we will need to buy, because if we can slowly start buying what we don't already have, then we wont be faced with all that right when we move in. Donations will be gladly accepted! So far I've come up with these things that we need to buy: coffee pot (John can't go without coffee), tea kettle (I can't go without tea), pots & pans, and a vaccuum cleaner. I am sure there is more.

Did I mention I have a midterm at 5 today? I should really be studying, especially since I am skipping my two early classes today JUST so I can study. I'm blaming it on senioritis.

got milk?

Since March of last year, I've been having a lot of issues with my stomach. I get nauseaus very easily, and have horrible heartburn, among other things. I've been seeing doctors and specialists since then, and have had multiple tests done to find out what is going on.

In the summer, I had an upper endoscopy done, which is when they stick a camera down your throat and into your stomach to see if there are any visible problems. I had some minor tearing, remnants of the days when my eating disorder was really bad. They said some of stomach pain could be from that. So I avoided acidic food and went about as normal. Not much improvement...

In the fall, ate eggs with magic ions in them and sat under a big x-ray machine for two and a half hours while they took pictures of how fast the food left my stomach. After eating, half of the food material should have left your stomach within 2 hours. None of mine did. So they diagnosed me with gastroparesis, which is when your stomach muscles don't work properly and food does not leave your stomach in a normal amount of time. They put me on medicine that makes my muscles contract to move the food material out. They said the gastroparesis was also from the anorexia/bulimia. Awesome...

A few months go by, and I'm still having some issues. And I find out that I am lactose intolerant. Which would be fine, except for the fact that I am also soy intolerant. Do you know how hard it is to find dairy products that are both lactose and soy free?? I spent 40 minutes at Whole Foods today looking for lactose-free and soy-free yogurt. Do you know how expensive it is when you find the ONE brand that is lactose-free and soy-free? A DOLLAR-NINTEEN for ONE 4oz carton of yougurt! That is absurd!

Now, they also think I have an overgrowth of bacteria in my small intestine and I have to go for another 2 and a half hour test during my spring break. I know the gastroparesis is my own doing, but I'm pretty sure you don't become lactose intolerant after having an eating disorder for five years. And I'm pretty sure an eating disorder does not cause bacteria growth in your small intestine. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank whichever one of my ancestors that gave me a horrible digestive system. Because now, I get to spend a fortune on special yogurt and milk, not to mention the plethora of foods I cannot eat anymore because they contain milk or soy.