once upon a time

 

I just love Taylor Swift.

Not only does she make amazing music that virtually any teenage girl (or older!) can relate to, she is also not your typical basket-case teenage celebrity. She doesn't drown herself in alcohol or throw herself all over every person with a Y chromosome. She doesn't pose naked on magazine covers for thousands of dollars or turn to drugs when things don't go her way. She is as normal as she can be considering her job. She is a good role model. She is also honest, raw, and down to earth. Another awesome quality: she is kind of nerdy, which I love.

I watched her youtube video of the CMA nominee announcements, where she found out she was nominated for five awards. In sweatpants. With her dog. Broadcasting her excitement for all the other nominees, not just herself. It is rare to find a nineteen year old with her charisma, modesty, and talent.

Her music is really good, too. She's got a great voice, real lyrics, and stories that real teenage girls can relate to. (If only she were around when I was in high school...)

So, I was pretty happy when she won Female Vocalist of the Year...and three other awards. I think she deserves it. She's had a HUGE year.

When she won Entertainer of the Year? I cried. This is a girl, just like any of us, who had a dream of making music. In the process of becoming a music superstar she has touched millions of lives with her real-life songs, and she's an amazing role model at the same time. She just looked truly surprised, honored, excited...everything. I think it's awesome that she giggles on stage and shows her excitement...look at what she just won! She deserves it.

 

Besides, it's about time Kenny Chesney stopped winning the award.

 

and i think to myself, what a wonderful world

After this weekend, I may or may not have wedding fever.

Jenny & Stephen's wedding was absolutely beautiful. My mom and I kept saying to each other the entire night "I have never seen a couple look so happy!" "I have never seen a couple so in love!" Really, it makes a wedding that much more special when you can look into their eyes and just know that it's the stuff fairytales are made of. (Of course, this is even more of a reason why Disney was the perfect place for their honeymoon). I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than to be able to send them to Disney. I've been so excited for them to go ever since we booked it, and all day today I was thinking about them. I looked at the clock at 10:30 - they're landing now! 12:30 rolled around and I wondered if they'd made it to the resort. I wonder if they are in Epcot yet, I thought at 3:30. Maybe it's because I LOVE Disney...I've just been bursting with happiness all.freaking.day for them. I cannot wait to hear all about it and see their pictures.

The happy couple

Cousins xo

My very own future-husband xo

There is nothing happier than love. Or weddings. Or maybe even wedding planning...which is something that is making it VERY hard to concentrate on my last semester of school. A fifty page paper due in less than a month? A paper due Thursday? Two group projects due in two weeks? A quiz tomorrow? Pshhh... clearly they are all much less important on my to-do list than reading my wedding books!

P.S. I'm 5.4 lbs lighter than I was two weeks ago! Go me : )

and dance forever

Right before John and I got engaged, the infamous youtube video started circulating.

We got engaged two days after I saw the video for the first time. That week, he saw the video for the first time and promptly shut down any ideas I may or may not have had about dancing down the aisle at our wedding.

I still realllllly love that video though.

I'm really glad I am graduating in December because it is almost impossible to concentrate on schoolwork when I could be reading a bridal magazine or spending hours on theknot.com making my wedding website or looking at favors or centerpieces.

Not to mention that I have spent countless hours throughout my entire college education procrastinating by looking at wedding dresses online.

There are soooo many pretty dresses, how do you pick just one??

Pumpkintown, USA

Ryan and me with Barack Gourdama. ; )

"This one is my size!"

Ryan and Uncle Johnny visit Jail!

Ryan goes for a ride with some pumpkin-kids!

"I don't want sprinkles!"
What little boy doesn't want sprinkled donuts?? ; )

hello autumn

I dislike how quickly fall goes by. It smells wonderful outside, and the trees are the prettiest colors.

Tomorrow, John and I are taking his youngest nephew Ryan to Pumpkintown, USA. It's a cute little park for kids with pumpkin people and hay bales and yummy apples and other autumn goodies. Friday night we are taking him to the fair while the older boys are at the Trail of Terror. I love fall fairs...the smell, the midway, the crafts. I really want to go to Gilette Castle too, since this is the last weekend of the season. Hopefully we can squeeze it in on Saturday or Sunday.

Marley is growing too fast, but he gets cuter everyday. He is teething and my hands have the marks to prove it, but I don't mind. Milo had to go to the vet last week and we found out he had a viral infection via an ulcer in his mouth - his meow sounded awful, like he had a cat version of strep throat or something. He is on anti-histamines twice a day until Friday. He's not happy about taking them, but he sounds ten times better.

John turned 26 yesterday. I had his family over for taco salad and birthday cake, all made by yours truly. I will post pictures when I get around to putting them on my computer. I'm so proud of who he is and al that he's done in his 26 years. I loved making his cake, too. I felt like a true (almost) wife.

the happier me

I've decided.

School is ending soon (!!!). I'm getting married soon - or not so soon, depends on how you see 20 months.

I've always struggled with eating, at least since I developed an eating disorder in 2003.

I've always "dieted" and given up.

I've always worked out for a few months, only to give up.

Not anymore.

I started another blog, one to motivate myself to eat healthier, lose weight, exercise regularly, and overall, to be happier. To find peace with myself, my body, and the way I eat. I'm tired of feeling guilty after eating anything. I'm tired of feeling guilty for not going to the gym (even though I know I have a legitimate excuse right now - who can fit in the gym on top of working full time and going to school full time??).

I'm ready for a change. Now that I'm on my own, I have control over what I eat and how I eat it. It's time for me to put myself first and just DO this.

I made the new blog private because there are a couple people in my life that I would rather not read it. If you want to read it, just let me know and I'll add you to the list. I am pretty sure you need a wordpress user name, but it's free and easy. If you'd like to try to find a happier you too, the more the merrier!

www.thehappierme.wordpress.com

ways to make homework more enjoyable:

Let your kitten do it for you.

Bless Our Home

As promised, here are some pictures of our apartment!

The den, aka Milo and Marley's room...my desk/school things, cat food & water, and other miscellaneous stuff that doesn't belong in any of the other rooms.
Some of John's military awards, they hang in the den because it's the only place where the cats cannot jump up to knock it all down!

Our living room. I love our sofas, they are so amazingly comfy. We are working on getting some art and/or photos to hang on the wall behind the sofa. Notice the basket next to the fireplace...it has all my wedding magazines in it! : )

This is looking out from the den. I love the deacon's bench that John's sister gave us, and I had to get a picture of the mugs hanging from over the sink...John slaved over that for an hour one afternoon.

Our tiny kitchen! It's apple themed. I am starting to love my dishwasher, even though I swore I would never use it after having grown up without one. They are lovely though. : )

Looking out from the kitchen into the dining room. A lot of my snowglobes are on display in the hutch...don't mind the pile of clothes on our table! ; )

Our lovely laundry room / pantry! Overflow food gets stored in here, and I absolutely love having a washer and dryer in our apartment. So convenient!

Our bedroom. The bed is new, and oh so comfy. I can't decide if I like that or the sofas better. The armoire is beautiful, but I was afraid the guys wouldn't be able to get it up to our floor...heavy! We need nightstands for this room...and things to hang on the wall.

I love this picture.

And this one too. Sleeping kitties are just the best, aren't they?

We are so happy here.

home sweet home

We have been in our new place for almost two weeks now. It's starting to feel like home, walking in the door and seeing my two little guys (or in Milo's case, big guy) running to see who it is and knowing that I get to spend every night with my best friend.

Have you ever had a moment where you realize that everything in your life is just about perfect? I had one of those moments today. It was a crappy day at work, I was still feeling pretty sore from the unexpected trip the the ER Sunday night, and I wasn't looking forward to class tonight...but I had this feeling come over me that despite it all, my life was perfect. I can't tell you how much I love seeing John come through the door at the end of the work day, knowing that I get to cook him dinner and cuddle with him on the couch all night.

We have our newest addition, little Marley, a 10 week old orange kitten who is absolutely fabulous. He plays hard, runs hard, eats a lot, and sleeps like a rock. He is the most precious kitten ever, and I just love him to pieces. He's become fast friends with Milo, despite thinking that he can nurse off Milo sometimes. They run around our little apartment like crazies, and then collapse on the couch for a two hour nap. It's so cute to see Marley bounce after Milo wherever he goes...because he doesn't walk yet, he does that kitten-bounce. So cute.

I got accepted to graduate school last week and was offered an internship that would completely pay for my tuition. I was so excited; the school was my top choice and I've been so excited about the prospect of going there...but I think I'm going to have to turn both down. I cannot afford to do the internship and not work, and I cannot afford the tuition without the internship. Talk about a double edged sword. I hate this crappy economy. So, the new plan is to graduate in December and take some time off to save money and hopefully start graduate school at a less expensive school next fall. We'll see how it goes.

I am going to a bridal expo this Sunday with my mom and grandma. I am very excited, not that we are doing any real planning at this point. We've got our venue booked (the Barn at Wesleyan Hills - check it out here) for June 4, 2011. I'm hoping to talk to a photographer that I want soon, and maybe book the DJ also. I think I'm going to wait until school is finished to do anything further, just because I want to enjoy it all and clearly, I can't do that while trying to write my 50 page thesis paper for graduation.

Also when school is finished...I really want to try the 30 Day Shred again. I haven't gained or lost any weight since like July, but I really want to just do the 30 days. Has anyone actually done it??

I will post pictures of the apartment once I take some good ones!

it's been a while

Summer of 2009?

I have no idea where it went. I worked full time. But other than that...I really dont know what I did everyday. The last three months have really flown by.

Oh, I got engaged. (!!!!) John proposed on our 2 year anniversary. It was adorable and perfect and I almost started crying, but I held it together. I will write all about it later -- I need to ease my way back into writing. Ha, that is pathetic!

We are moving in together in fifteen days.

I start school in twelve days.

I have a lot to do in the next week and a half!

Here's a recap of my summer!

Went to see my godmother get married!

Went to the beach a few times with the nephews!

GOT ENGAGED!

house hunters

I keep meaning to write more about this whole buying a house process, because I know someday I'll want to look back and re-live it all. Some days are really frustrating, some days are really hopeful, and some days are just plain stressful. We've been going out with our realtor every weekend to see houses on our list, which has really been fun. We've seen a few houses that we love, a few houses that are decent, and a few houses that need a ton of work. It's amazing how horrible some houses smell...like, do the people notice the stench when the walk home everyday or what?

The first weekend we went out, the very first house we looked at...oh my gosh. It was beautiful. It was a ranch, completely remodeled and just gorgeous. I would have bought it on the spot if I could have. It had a detached barn with garage, good sized lot, and seriously...I loved the house, the layout, the architecture, everything. The second house that day was beautiful, but in a bad neighborhood and it had a shared driveway...which John promptly knocked off the list. The third was in a great neighborhood, cute house, but no basement. It had the water heater and stuff in closets throughout the house so the only storage spaces were in the bedrooms and the garage. The kitchen was kind of small, but it had a mudroom which I loved.

The second weekend, we saw mostly so-so houses. The first we didn't even go into because the outside needed so much work. The second was really nice, full basement, remodeled, garage, absolutely perfect...just out of our price range by $15,000. It even had a great backyard, but fifteen grand isn't going to magically appear in our laps. The third was a disaster...the inside was circa 1970 with a mammoth amount of work necessary, but the outside was resided and landscaped really nicely. We didn't even go upstairs in that one...clearly that was a no. The fourth was alright, it was a ranch and the square footage was on the small side, and the layout wasn't really functional. John didn't like the driveway, and the basement had a really odd layout...it was like one big room with random walls put up. Odd. It did have a really nice deck though, which I liked. This past weekend we went to one that seemed okay in the pictures we saw ahead of time but it absolutely reeked...plus it was really outdated, and I didn't like the location at all. No garage either, which we really want.

We realize that we arent'y going to find a perfect house, but we're starting to learn what we can live without and what kind of work we're willing to do on the house we buy. I would really like a basement and a dining room, John really wants a garage. A good neighborhood is absolutely necessary. We'd much prefer two bathrooms over one. It's a matter of give and take, and hopefully by the end of the summer we'll have a place to call home.

We're going up to meet with a mortgage company to officially get pre-qualified, and then once the end of August arrives we'll get pre-approved and lock in at a rate and with a loan program. Exciting, but seriously stressful. One bank that I contacted last week was telling me that because John is self-employed, he needs a certain kind of bank account in order for us to get approved (which he does not have) so we were scrambling on Saturday talking to different banks to find out if this was true, and luckily it's not a requirement with ALL banks. Insert huge sigh of relief here! It's just a stressful process because it's hard to know which bank to go with, which bank is really going to give us the best deal. Everyone's out to earn money, and I get that, but I want to find a bank that's going to let us keep as much money as possible.

I had a small medical problem that halted my 30 day shredding, so I've got to start that up again soon. I got really mad at myself for having to stop, but I couldn't really help it. I have John's oldest nephew's 5th grade graduation tomorrow night, the meeting with the mortgage guy Thursday, a wedding on Saturday, ahhh! I thought I'd have a lot more free time when the semester ended but clearly that's not the case. I forgot to do my laundry today too, so I have to find something to wear to work tomorrow.

Day 3...ugh

I could barely move this morning...my legs hurt SO bad.

I did do day 3 after work though, and it seemed to help loosen them up but now I'm back to being super sore. It's getting easier, still no walk in the park, but my endurance and strength are improving (except in the lunge/arm raise thing in part one...my arms die about 6 raises before the end!) I haven't made it to the gym in two days because my legs hurt that bad, but I'm definitely going tomorrow. My arms are already more toned...so I am hopeful that this pain will all be worth it in the end!

I also found out today that I made the Dean's List with a 3.6 GPA. I'm proud of myself, this semester kicked my butt.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to see a plastic surgeon about my arm. It's been over two years, so I'm looking forward to seeing what they can do for me. A part of me doesn't want to do anything, I feel like the scars are a part of me. And they shouldn't affect the way people see me...and if they do, they aren't people I want in my life anyway, right?

30 Days...

Well, I'm on day two of The 30 Day Shred.

I made it through both days, although I feel like I could collapse and never get up. It burned while I was doing it, but it wasn't that bad. I was able to move around fairly easily yesterday, woke up a little stiff today, and now I can barely move. It is the most exhausting work out I've ever tried, and its only 20 minutes long! We'll see how the rest of the 30 days go. Maybe my limbs wont feel like Jello by day 30...

John and I are planning our 2 year anniversary trip. I think we've settled on Providence, probably the Biltmore.

And I have had heartburn like whoa for the last two weeks. I wish my stomach would just settle down! I can barely eat anything anymore...no soy, no lactose, no spicy food, no tomatoes. It's annoying and hard to go shopping.

pudge

This semester killed me. The work load was much more than I previously had, and the work was more involved. I worked all day, or went to class all day, and went home to do homework until I went to bed. Every. Single. Day. I did try to keep up with the gym but that fizzled out about six weeks into the semester. I just couldn't find the time, or the energy.

I have not weighed myself, but I feel like the lack of running and lack of watching what I ate took a toll on my body. My clothes are a smidge too tight and I am tired. This is a sign - a sign that the gym is calling for me. Last week, I caved and bought the 30 Day Shred on Amazon....and even got two other Jillian Michael's DVDs all for the super awesome price of $27! The Shred is obviously 30 days, broken down into three stretches of 10 days each. I'm figuring I'll do it Monday thru Friday and take weekends off, so it will be more like the 45 Day Shred for me. I know a lot of people who have tried it, and quite a few lost several inches doing this, so hopefully it will bring me the same results. I figure if I watch what I eat, get in at least 45 minutes of cardio, and do this video and maybe some pilates mixed in, I should be able to get to where I normally am in a month or so.

John and I have found several adorable houses in our price range...and now I am dead set on getting a house instead of a condo! I keep telling myself I only have a few more months to go until we can make and offer, but that's really going to be right around the corner! We better start making appointments to see all these homes, September will be here before we know it.

i want something that i want

Everyone around me is graduating! It is somewhat frustrating, because I have three months off and then have to go back for another three and a half months to get my degree. Lately I've been wondering a lot about what my life would be like had I stayed at Providence in January of 2006. Would I be healthy? Would I have more friends? Would I be completely broke? Would I be on a different career path? Would I be with someone else? Would I be this happy? Would I be buying a house this year?

A lot of things have happened in the last three and a half years that have molded me into who I am today.

Spending two months in the hospital and another year or so working to get myself healthy really changed me and made me into a better person. I had to work really hard to get to where I am now, and I'm really proud of the person I've become. I still struggle and am constantly reminded of how easy it would be to fall back into that life - thinking of nothing but calories eaten and calories burned, scrutinizing every inch of my body, and working out until I literally collapse out of exhaustion. It would be so easy, but I am reminded everyday of the things that keep me going.

I went through a couple bad relationships that taught me about who I am and what I want in a relationship, and led me to the most amazing man. I can't imagine a stronger, braver, kinder person to share the rest of my life with and I am so completely in love with him. John brings out the best in me, he accepts my flaws and he loves me unconditionally. He and I are buying a house this fall, and I am so excited to think of all the amazing memories we will make in the future to join the beautiful ones we've already made.

I am scarred, literally, and came to terms with how quickly life can be taken away. At first I hated my scar, but now I kind of like to think it shows how strong I am. That and it also reminds me to always wear my seatbelt. It was another obstacle, another uphill climb, but I came out on top and it led me to the love of my life. If my arm didn't look like a map of the Rocky Mountains, John probably would never have noticed me at the gym, and who knows where we'd both be today.

Last May was probably the hardest month of my life. Sometimes things are thrown at us unexpectedly and out of the blue we are forced to grow up and make an adult decision. Facing that, something I wasn't planning on facing for several years, and having to make a decision that would affect the rest of our lives was not an easy thing to do, and it got even harder when our control over the situation was taken away. Some might say that was a blessing in disguise, but I'm not so sure. We came out of it together, and stronger than ever. I like to think that John and I are a better couple because of it.

In coming home from PC, I definitely altered the way my life went. I've literally worked my way through college, but it's enabled me to buy a brand new car on my own and by the end of this year I will be a homeowner. None of that would have happened had I stayed at PC. I lost my friends, which has been a struggle for the last three years. My college friends were left behind, my high school friends were in different states, and I made no long lasting friendships at CCSU because I commuted. It has been strange, the last few weeks, with my high school friends graduating and coming back to Connecticut.

I dont think these 'what-ifs' will do me any good, but still, it is hard to picture how my life would have turned out if I stayed at PC. I'm sure I would have amazing, strong friendships, and a great education. But I would be massively in debt, and just starting out. I already have a great job that will be here for me until I get a teaching job. I am going to the best school in the state for my Master's degree. I have the love of my life, who I am sure I would not have met if I'd stayed at PC. I will always miss the idea of a real college experience and I will always wonder what my life would have been like. But I am so happy with the life I've made so far, and I'm proud of what I've done. It hasn't been that easy, but I do think it has been entirely worth it.

lightyears

Reason #435094 why I have the cutest boyfriend ever:

Me: I love you to infinity and beyond!
John: I love you too, Buzz.

He totally feeds into my Disney obsession ; )

crash

If I fall and crash and burn
At least I know you’re by my side
As I crawl, the lessons learned
Remind me I'll survive
I've been hurt and I've been scarred
At least I know that I'm alive

hello summer :)

It is hot. The temperature thing at the bank said 87 degrees today! I love it!

The weekend was beautiful; perfect weather for baseball games and cookouts...which is exactly what we did. We also went to a couple more open houses and absolutely fell in love with a condo in Meriden, but it probably will be gone by time we are ready to put in an offer.

I have a lot to do for school in the next several days, and I'm going to have to take a day off of work next week just so I can get it all done. 4 days left of classes over the next two weeks...this semester flew by. Which is awesome, because it means I only have one left until graduation, which is absolutely crazy!

I love this little guy : )

you got whatever it is that blows me away

 

 

I love love.

 

And that guy up there, too. ; )

lots of hairs cut

From :

To:

And in other news, I finally got an appointment with a plastic surgeon to take care of this ugly mess:

three hundred sixty five days old

My little man is growing up so fast!

irrefutable, indisputable fact is...it happens

This weekend went by too quickly. What else is new?

I got the cutest shirt at New York and Company on Saturday. I only bought one, even though they were on sale and I couldn't pick a favorite color. Why?

John was with me. a.) He hates clothes shopping with me, so I didn't want to make him sit through a half hour of me trying all the different colors. b.) I think rationally regarding money when I'm with him, so I knew I didn't need two of them.

I wore it to work today. Guess what? I need another one. It's so flattering, it makes me feel skinny, and it's SO comfortable.

I do this all the time. I buy multiple pairs of jeans without trying them on, and end up returning half. When I find something that I really LOVE, I only get one. And then when I go back to buy a second or third, they're sold out. Yes, I checked online and they are sold out.

As is the new trend on Facebook, I guess I should end this post with three letters:

FML.

wanna wake up every morning to your sweet face, always

There are days when I long for the week I move out of here. It is getting closer - November will be here before I know it (because we all know summer goes by faster than any other season). Obviously, I want freedom and independence and to support myself, and I want to share my life with John. Those are the most important and influential factors in why we are buying a condo, but I also just crave my own space. I come home from work and have nowhere to go. My sister holes herself up in our room all night, my mom takes over the family room, which leaves me stuck at my desk. (I probably should be stuck at my desk, considering the mammoth amount of homework I have to get done by May 8th). I want my own kitchen where I can cook us dinner everynight, and my own washer and dryer so I can wash clothes the way I like them washed. I want our own bedroom that is not cluttered with our stuff that has nowhere else to be put away. There are too many things that have to be done before all of that can happen, things that are entirely too stressful for my own good. Being pre-qualified is fabulous, but it doesn't erase the fact that we have to find a condo we want to buy and that we can afford when we want to have this all happen. Nor does it erase the fact that this will all be happening in the weeks before I graduate, aka right around the time of finals. But, it does include fun things like shopping for furniture (albeit at Walmart or Target, but still!) and paint and curtains and other things that will make it our home.

I found all of my old Lifehouse B-Sides on my computer today, which has been an excellent distraction from the 5-page trascript I have due on Thursday. Which clearly means spring break is over, and the sucky part of the semester begins (aka the three 12-page papers I have due in a month).

John and I watched the two younger nephews on Saturday. I couldn't help taking pictures, they are so adorable.

Ryan on his "big boy" bike.

Showing off his new front teeth!

a day off

Today I went to Massachusetts to visit my cousin and her new baby. I haven't been able to catch up with my cousin in such a long time, it felt like we had ten years of each other's lives to catch up on. It was so nice to get away from everything that normally keeps me busy all day long and just relax. I haven't had a 'girls day' in forever. Not to mention that I've been dying to meet the baby since she was born. She is too cute and a really good baby.

When I was driving home, the GPS took me through mostly backroads for the first half of the drive which was kind of nice because it was gorgeous out today. I really hope it warms up soon - it was only 32 degrees today but it looked like it should have been 60.

John and I went to a mortgage lender and got approved for the amount we wanted...so now all we have to do is meet with other lenders to compare rates and other fun financial stuff, and look at as many condos as we can so we can be ready to buy when November rolls around. His two-year work history date is like November 8th (being self-employed, he has to show two years history of work) and the tax credit expires on December 1st, so we have about three weeks to decide on a condo, put in an offer, and close on it. Stressful!

And this is Milo when he was four weeks old...turning one year old in just a couple weeks! Time flies.

giving in

Um, apparently I suck at posting lately.

My life has been crazy.  I have had so much work to do for school that I have barely had time to shave my legs more than once a week. No lie.  Not to mention John and I have started the crazy-stressful process of buying a condo...which obviously requires numerous hours spent browsing available units in central Connecticut. (What do you mean I have a history paper to write? There are condos to look at!) I have not straightened my hair in two weeks, I cannot get up without hitting the snooze button less than five times, and I require multiple cups of caffiene-infused tea to get through each day. My stress level has gone so high that I've had my period for close to two and a half weeks and I have broken out all along my chin...oh, and it's been taking me at least an hour to fall asleep. So, this is me asking whoever controls my destiny to please (pretty please!) cut me a break and add a few extra hours into each day until the semester ends. Okay? Thanks.

see what life's gonna hold down the road

This picture was taken on my first dat of Kindergarten. I referenced that dress, the lunchbox (1990's, much??) and the giant yellow bus tag on my collar in my application for graduate school. I still remember standing there by the front door while my mom took my picture...how is it possible that so many years could go by so quickly?

John and I decided that we are going to get an apartment at the end of the year. Originally, he'd wanted to buy a house, but with this horrid economy, we think it would be smarter to not take on a mortgage until things pick up a little bit. Plus, we could rent for a couple years and save more money for a down payment. So now, instead of concentrating on the midterm I have at 5pm today, I have been looking at apartments for rent online. We found one we really like in the same complex where his parents live now. It has one bedroom, a den, a living room, kitchen, pantry and bathroom. I think we need at least that much space because between the two of us, we have three cats. My mother tried telling me I couldn't take Lucy and Ricky with me, which I shot down very quickly. They are clearly my cats, they dont even like anyone else in this house. Anyway...now I am trying to think of everything we will need to buy, because if we can slowly start buying what we don't already have, then we wont be faced with all that right when we move in. Donations will be gladly accepted! So far I've come up with these things that we need to buy: coffee pot (John can't go without coffee), tea kettle (I can't go without tea), pots & pans, and a vaccuum cleaner. I am sure there is more.

Did I mention I have a midterm at 5 today? I should really be studying, especially since I am skipping my two early classes today JUST so I can study. I'm blaming it on senioritis.

got milk?

Since March of last year, I've been having a lot of issues with my stomach. I get nauseaus very easily, and have horrible heartburn, among other things. I've been seeing doctors and specialists since then, and have had multiple tests done to find out what is going on.

In the summer, I had an upper endoscopy done, which is when they stick a camera down your throat and into your stomach to see if there are any visible problems. I had some minor tearing, remnants of the days when my eating disorder was really bad. They said some of stomach pain could be from that. So I avoided acidic food and went about as normal. Not much improvement...

In the fall, ate eggs with magic ions in them and sat under a big x-ray machine for two and a half hours while they took pictures of how fast the food left my stomach. After eating, half of the food material should have left your stomach within 2 hours. None of mine did. So they diagnosed me with gastroparesis, which is when your stomach muscles don't work properly and food does not leave your stomach in a normal amount of time. They put me on medicine that makes my muscles contract to move the food material out. They said the gastroparesis was also from the anorexia/bulimia. Awesome...

A few months go by, and I'm still having some issues. And I find out that I am lactose intolerant. Which would be fine, except for the fact that I am also soy intolerant. Do you know how hard it is to find dairy products that are both lactose and soy free?? I spent 40 minutes at Whole Foods today looking for lactose-free and soy-free yogurt. Do you know how expensive it is when you find the ONE brand that is lactose-free and soy-free? A DOLLAR-NINTEEN for ONE 4oz carton of yougurt! That is absurd!

Now, they also think I have an overgrowth of bacteria in my small intestine and I have to go for another 2 and a half hour test during my spring break. I know the gastroparesis is my own doing, but I'm pretty sure you don't become lactose intolerant after having an eating disorder for five years. And I'm pretty sure an eating disorder does not cause bacteria growth in your small intestine. So, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank whichever one of my ancestors that gave me a horrible digestive system. Because now, I get to spend a fortune on special yogurt and milk, not to mention the plethora of foods I cannot eat anymore because they contain milk or soy.

just might make me believe

Recently, a lot of my extended family in Sweden has connected to those of us in the US via facebook. The Internet is a genius way to connect people, and right now I'm thanking the stars for inventing it. 20 years ago, getting to know my family would have been a lot harder to do than it is today. I can email back and forth with my cousins in a matter of minutes, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I think it's pretty cool to have such a large extended family that has strong roots, and I hope that is a value I can pass onto my children someday. It's comforting to know where you come from, and to know that there are people across the globe that care about you.

I am currently trying to make sense of the Communist Manifesto for a paper I have to write. I basically know what it is all about, but I could not write an intelligent paper about it. I keep finding things to distract me because this is not an aspect of history that is interesting to me what-so-ever. Give me World War II or colonial America anyday.

I am almost done with my application for UNH. I have to write one more essay, which is half done, and then just wait for all of my transcripts/test scores to reach the admissions office. Waiting sucks. I just want to know. This whole becoming-a-real-adult thing is scary, especially with the economy and job market the way it is. Do I really want to take out a $24,000 loan for graduate school? Could I really get a job without a master's degree?

I've been lifting at the gym for about a month now, and I swear my energy has just about doubled, and surprisingly my endurance has too. I can feel my clothes getting looser, which is fabulous.

time flies when you're having fun

I have no time anymore! I wake up, go to work, come home, go to the gym, come home, do homework, go to bed, get up, go to the gym, go to school, come home, go to bed, get up...and on and on and on.

One good thing about having negative amounts of time is that the weeks fly by and before I know it, the weekend is back.

One bad thing about having negative amounts of time is that I haven't updated this more than once a week since school started again. Nor have I kept in touch with any of my friends.

The whole applying-to-grad-school thing takes up a lot of time, too. Hopefully once all my paperwork is sent in, I will have a little more time to do things that are not related to work or school.

Will you be my Valentine?

I am not a fan of Valentine's Day; I think that if you love someone you should show it everyday, not just on a random day that florists and chocolate-makers decided to claim as their biggest-profit-of-the-year-day. For this reason, John and I agreed to not get each other anything and to keep it a low key day (and besides, he does cute things all year long for me, it's not like I need a specific day for it).

I made him a card though, because I couldn't help myself. And he got me one too, with a whole bunch of memories we've made since last February 14th, which I thought was so incredibly cute and thoughtful...and at the bottom of the card, he wrote "the future" which obviously was the cutest of them all. Plus, he got my favorite chocolate and a long-stemmed chocolate rose. That boy is too good to me.

We took his two older nephews to a hockey game on Saturday night which was a lot of fun. I was surprised that the younger one was more into it than the older one; he actually paid attention throughout the entire game and didn't want to go home when it was over. Today we took Milo on a field trip to visit my grandparents, which they enjoyed immensely. He did okay, he was a little nervous at first but he warmed up and was checking everything out after a little while.

John and the boys at the game

Milo's big adventure

I love my Valentine : )

today was a balmy 50 degrees!

Milo being cute as ever.

What cool people play on Saturday nights.

He doesn't understand why he can't walk on the game board...and is very upset that we kept him off it.

Peanut butter cookies for the boy who melts my heart.

By the way, the credit card machine in the new Monopoly totally takes the fun out of it. You feel way richer with a stack of bills than with a measly plastic card. And I'm sorry, but how did Montreal beat out New York or Paris as the best spot on the board? Come on, Parker Brothers.