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Adsdgjkg, it's one of those days. I think I'm in a writing phase again...the kind where I feel the need to pour out my soul every five minutes. It's frustrating in a sense because my mind is constantly moving and worrying and thinking and I wish for just five minutes it would stop. Really, I think right now it boils down to me being a big baby.

I don't know why I'm so insecure about everything. I knew this would happen because it always does. I get involved with someone and I start picking myself apart and convincing myself I'm not good enough. And it's not just my body either...I pick apart my personality too. I should think before I say things, I shouldn't be so quiet, I should stop worrying, I should be more reserved, pretty much be someone I'm not. So... sometimes I blurt things out without thinking. Sometimes I'm just quiet. Sometimes I laugh at dumb things. Sometimes I just want to be held. That's just who I am. I know this is partly due to the fact that this has all happened so quickly, but what I am I supposed to do - pass up someone this amazing? I'm not going to hold back and miss out on him just because I can't get myself together. I've never felt like this before. I miss him so much when I'm not with him and he gives me the butterfly feeling whenever I see him. I just feel different with him. Maybe I need to talk to him about this but I really dont want to. I have a feeling it would freak him out that I'm so weird.

I've been so tired lately. I've had headaches constantly too, but those should go away by next week when I get onto my new birth control. It'll be the 7th one in three years, you'd think that there would be at least one pill out there that doesn't give me headaches but nooo..it's like clockwork. After 3-4 months on any given pill I start getting headaches. My boobs have been killing me for the last week too, and that's probably related to the pill issues too.

I just need to go to bed and sleep for a while. Hopefully I'll sleep too late and accidentally miss work becuase I am so sick of all the drama going on there. Disney of all places should be drama free but noooo, it's not.