the happier me

I've decided.

School is ending soon (!!!). I'm getting married soon - or not so soon, depends on how you see 20 months.

I've always struggled with eating, at least since I developed an eating disorder in 2003.

I've always "dieted" and given up.

I've always worked out for a few months, only to give up.

Not anymore.

I started another blog, one to motivate myself to eat healthier, lose weight, exercise regularly, and overall, to be happier. To find peace with myself, my body, and the way I eat. I'm tired of feeling guilty after eating anything. I'm tired of feeling guilty for not going to the gym (even though I know I have a legitimate excuse right now - who can fit in the gym on top of working full time and going to school full time??).

I'm ready for a change. Now that I'm on my own, I have control over what I eat and how I eat it. It's time for me to put myself first and just DO this.

I made the new blog private because there are a couple people in my life that I would rather not read it. If you want to read it, just let me know and I'll add you to the list. I am pretty sure you need a wordpress user name, but it's free and easy. If you'd like to try to find a happier you too, the more the merrier!

www.thehappierme.wordpress.com

ways to make homework more enjoyable:

Let your kitten do it for you.

Bless Our Home

As promised, here are some pictures of our apartment!

The den, aka Milo and Marley's room...my desk/school things, cat food & water, and other miscellaneous stuff that doesn't belong in any of the other rooms.
Some of John's military awards, they hang in the den because it's the only place where the cats cannot jump up to knock it all down!

Our living room. I love our sofas, they are so amazingly comfy. We are working on getting some art and/or photos to hang on the wall behind the sofa. Notice the basket next to the fireplace...it has all my wedding magazines in it! : )

This is looking out from the den. I love the deacon's bench that John's sister gave us, and I had to get a picture of the mugs hanging from over the sink...John slaved over that for an hour one afternoon.

Our tiny kitchen! It's apple themed. I am starting to love my dishwasher, even though I swore I would never use it after having grown up without one. They are lovely though. : )

Looking out from the kitchen into the dining room. A lot of my snowglobes are on display in the hutch...don't mind the pile of clothes on our table! ; )

Our lovely laundry room / pantry! Overflow food gets stored in here, and I absolutely love having a washer and dryer in our apartment. So convenient!

Our bedroom. The bed is new, and oh so comfy. I can't decide if I like that or the sofas better. The armoire is beautiful, but I was afraid the guys wouldn't be able to get it up to our floor...heavy! We need nightstands for this room...and things to hang on the wall.

I love this picture.

And this one too. Sleeping kitties are just the best, aren't they?

We are so happy here.

home sweet home

We have been in our new place for almost two weeks now. It's starting to feel like home, walking in the door and seeing my two little guys (or in Milo's case, big guy) running to see who it is and knowing that I get to spend every night with my best friend.

Have you ever had a moment where you realize that everything in your life is just about perfect? I had one of those moments today. It was a crappy day at work, I was still feeling pretty sore from the unexpected trip the the ER Sunday night, and I wasn't looking forward to class tonight...but I had this feeling come over me that despite it all, my life was perfect. I can't tell you how much I love seeing John come through the door at the end of the work day, knowing that I get to cook him dinner and cuddle with him on the couch all night.

We have our newest addition, little Marley, a 10 week old orange kitten who is absolutely fabulous. He plays hard, runs hard, eats a lot, and sleeps like a rock. He is the most precious kitten ever, and I just love him to pieces. He's become fast friends with Milo, despite thinking that he can nurse off Milo sometimes. They run around our little apartment like crazies, and then collapse on the couch for a two hour nap. It's so cute to see Marley bounce after Milo wherever he goes...because he doesn't walk yet, he does that kitten-bounce. So cute.

I got accepted to graduate school last week and was offered an internship that would completely pay for my tuition. I was so excited; the school was my top choice and I've been so excited about the prospect of going there...but I think I'm going to have to turn both down. I cannot afford to do the internship and not work, and I cannot afford the tuition without the internship. Talk about a double edged sword. I hate this crappy economy. So, the new plan is to graduate in December and take some time off to save money and hopefully start graduate school at a less expensive school next fall. We'll see how it goes.

I am going to a bridal expo this Sunday with my mom and grandma. I am very excited, not that we are doing any real planning at this point. We've got our venue booked (the Barn at Wesleyan Hills - check it out here) for June 4, 2011. I'm hoping to talk to a photographer that I want soon, and maybe book the DJ also. I think I'm going to wait until school is finished to do anything further, just because I want to enjoy it all and clearly, I can't do that while trying to write my 50 page thesis paper for graduation.

Also when school is finished...I really want to try the 30 Day Shred again. I haven't gained or lost any weight since like July, but I really want to just do the 30 days. Has anyone actually done it??

I will post pictures of the apartment once I take some good ones!

it's been a while

Summer of 2009?

I have no idea where it went. I worked full time. But other than that...I really dont know what I did everyday. The last three months have really flown by.

Oh, I got engaged. (!!!!) John proposed on our 2 year anniversary. It was adorable and perfect and I almost started crying, but I held it together. I will write all about it later -- I need to ease my way back into writing. Ha, that is pathetic!

We are moving in together in fifteen days.

I start school in twelve days.

I have a lot to do in the next week and a half!

Here's a recap of my summer!

Went to see my godmother get married!

Went to the beach a few times with the nephews!

GOT ENGAGED!

house hunters

I keep meaning to write more about this whole buying a house process, because I know someday I'll want to look back and re-live it all. Some days are really frustrating, some days are really hopeful, and some days are just plain stressful. We've been going out with our realtor every weekend to see houses on our list, which has really been fun. We've seen a few houses that we love, a few houses that are decent, and a few houses that need a ton of work. It's amazing how horrible some houses smell...like, do the people notice the stench when the walk home everyday or what?

The first weekend we went out, the very first house we looked at...oh my gosh. It was beautiful. It was a ranch, completely remodeled and just gorgeous. I would have bought it on the spot if I could have. It had a detached barn with garage, good sized lot, and seriously...I loved the house, the layout, the architecture, everything. The second house that day was beautiful, but in a bad neighborhood and it had a shared driveway...which John promptly knocked off the list. The third was in a great neighborhood, cute house, but no basement. It had the water heater and stuff in closets throughout the house so the only storage spaces were in the bedrooms and the garage. The kitchen was kind of small, but it had a mudroom which I loved.

The second weekend, we saw mostly so-so houses. The first we didn't even go into because the outside needed so much work. The second was really nice, full basement, remodeled, garage, absolutely perfect...just out of our price range by $15,000. It even had a great backyard, but fifteen grand isn't going to magically appear in our laps. The third was a disaster...the inside was circa 1970 with a mammoth amount of work necessary, but the outside was resided and landscaped really nicely. We didn't even go upstairs in that one...clearly that was a no. The fourth was alright, it was a ranch and the square footage was on the small side, and the layout wasn't really functional. John didn't like the driveway, and the basement had a really odd layout...it was like one big room with random walls put up. Odd. It did have a really nice deck though, which I liked. This past weekend we went to one that seemed okay in the pictures we saw ahead of time but it absolutely reeked...plus it was really outdated, and I didn't like the location at all. No garage either, which we really want.

We realize that we arent'y going to find a perfect house, but we're starting to learn what we can live without and what kind of work we're willing to do on the house we buy. I would really like a basement and a dining room, John really wants a garage. A good neighborhood is absolutely necessary. We'd much prefer two bathrooms over one. It's a matter of give and take, and hopefully by the end of the summer we'll have a place to call home.

We're going up to meet with a mortgage company to officially get pre-qualified, and then once the end of August arrives we'll get pre-approved and lock in at a rate and with a loan program. Exciting, but seriously stressful. One bank that I contacted last week was telling me that because John is self-employed, he needs a certain kind of bank account in order for us to get approved (which he does not have) so we were scrambling on Saturday talking to different banks to find out if this was true, and luckily it's not a requirement with ALL banks. Insert huge sigh of relief here! It's just a stressful process because it's hard to know which bank to go with, which bank is really going to give us the best deal. Everyone's out to earn money, and I get that, but I want to find a bank that's going to let us keep as much money as possible.

I had a small medical problem that halted my 30 day shredding, so I've got to start that up again soon. I got really mad at myself for having to stop, but I couldn't really help it. I have John's oldest nephew's 5th grade graduation tomorrow night, the meeting with the mortgage guy Thursday, a wedding on Saturday, ahhh! I thought I'd have a lot more free time when the semester ended but clearly that's not the case. I forgot to do my laundry today too, so I have to find something to wear to work tomorrow.

Day 3...ugh

I could barely move this morning...my legs hurt SO bad.

I did do day 3 after work though, and it seemed to help loosen them up but now I'm back to being super sore. It's getting easier, still no walk in the park, but my endurance and strength are improving (except in the lunge/arm raise thing in part one...my arms die about 6 raises before the end!) I haven't made it to the gym in two days because my legs hurt that bad, but I'm definitely going tomorrow. My arms are already more toned...so I am hopeful that this pain will all be worth it in the end!

I also found out today that I made the Dean's List with a 3.6 GPA. I'm proud of myself, this semester kicked my butt.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to see a plastic surgeon about my arm. It's been over two years, so I'm looking forward to seeing what they can do for me. A part of me doesn't want to do anything, I feel like the scars are a part of me. And they shouldn't affect the way people see me...and if they do, they aren't people I want in my life anyway, right?