A really hard part of growing up is accepting that life is not a fairytale. As a child, I couldn't wait to grow up, go to college, get a great job, fall in love like the movies, have a Cinderella wedding, and have 2.6 children. The American Dream right?
Well, college is expensive, good jobs are hard to come by, real love isn't like in the movies, I'll never have the money for a Cinderella wedding, and kids are even more expensive than that.
The hard part is still wanting all of those things. I still want that living-at-college experience, I still want to impact lives and be a teacher. I still wish J and I could have a hollywood romance, and that he told me everyday that I'm his world. I still want a Cinderella wedding, minus the pumpkin of course. I still want 2.6 children, but we'll round to 3 for the last one's sake.
Commuting to school is what I can afford, and I'm still getting a good education. I will find a teaching job somewhere, someday. I love J, and I know he loves me. I'll get married someday, and someday I'll have children.
I shouldn't complain, right?
But I do. I still want my fairytale life, and I feel guilty for not appreciating what I do have. I have a good education that will get me a good job. I have a good man, an honest, hardworking, wonderful man who treats me so good - even when I get crabby and moody, and I love him. I have a good family that loves me and supports me always. I have good friends who are there when I need them.
I think the next thing on my to-do list is going to be to start appreciating what I have, and not taking anything for granted. Life is too short.
1 comment:
You still have so much more of your life ahead of you, with the potential for things to be wonderful. That's what I tell myself. They're just on the way there now. Appreciating what you have is good- you can see how they fit into a realistic, grown up version of your dream.
PS, I just found your new blog, I wasn't checking your old one for updates while I was away. I have lots to catch up on now!
Post a Comment